I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She bit a glass in half.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
