Dual....:-)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
