We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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