Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Text me some of your sweat
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
