So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
