I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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