I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
