I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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