Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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