With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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