i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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