"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
