I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
