dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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