Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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