The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
