My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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