Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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