we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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