Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
