I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
