Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
