Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize