so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the condom got lost in my hair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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