Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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