The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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