Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
