Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
