Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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