just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize