I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
