What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
