apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
