You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
