ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
