How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize