She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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