Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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