I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
