YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
