I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have fence marks all over my body
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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