youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
