Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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