I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
