And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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