i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
