Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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