Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
