That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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