it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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