woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
