When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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