I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
