come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
