singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My liver just had a heart attack.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
