I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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