I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
