So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
